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i'm finding out / that cheating gets it faster [Dec. 23rd, 2009|08:02 pm]

2amtomorning
[dorianxface]
[Current Mood | sleepy]

Her monologues ran in twenty different directions at once and really it was just pure chance that I caught her question. But I told her a fake name. I told her my name was Grey.

“That’s unusual,” she said. She had cut off another piece of cake but was making no moves towards eating it. “It’s nice, though. There are too many names that you hear a hundred times a day. Why did your parents call you that?”

I shrugged. “Maybe they thought it would match my personality. You could probably attest to that.”

She smiled, sipped her coffee. “Not grey. To me, you’re more of a warm brown. Of course, that would make for a much stranger name. But it’s nice to meet a brown. They’re the calming presences in life, you know. Too many people are reds and yellows, all noise and chaos.”

“What colour are you?”

“What do you think?”

I looked at her. Her hair was brown, her eyes a blue-green, but that meant nothing. I knew my answer immediately but I didn’t know what she would make of it. I thought it was quite easy to misinterpret.

“Pink,” I said.

“Ah,” she said, and nodded. “You’re good at this. I always classified myself as a pink, too.”

We sat in silence for a moment or two, but it was not an uncomfortable one. The truth was that I usually spent my days alone in coffee shops or parks. I never knew what to expect when I returned home. This was refreshing, to say the least.

“And your name?” I broke the silence, unusual for me.

“Roseate.”

From the way she looked up at me after she said it, I knew that wasn’t her real name, either. I wondered if she knew that I had been lying. I thought she probably had, and a strange little thrill ran through me, a thrill that I could not explain either then or now.
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(no subject) [Dec. 24th, 2009|01:08 am]

2amtomorning
[shefreefalls]
I've never felt like any guy wanted me. For as long as I can remember, I was always the hot girl's friend. I just want to be a hot girl, for once.


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you think you know how i feel? [Dec. 22nd, 2009|10:38 pm]

2amtomorning
[ohteenagers]
[Current Mood | sleepy]
[Current Music |The Ranconteurs- You Don't Understand Me]

                                                                 "Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too.
                                                               They live inside us, and sometimes, they win."
                                                                                                                     Stephen King
 
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tired of tears and relationships [Dec. 22nd, 2009|02:26 pm]

2amtomorning
[theconsequences]
[Current Mood |speedy]

i'm also tired of xmas.

you know whats really, reallllllllly good? helluva good french onion dip. with carrots. or chips. or whatever. and lime green kool aid. and stella artois beer. mmmm.

/pointless post, meant solely to break up the crying business all up in here lately.
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(no subject) [Dec. 22nd, 2009|07:18 pm]

2amtomorning
[sweetness_sugar]
My eyes are stinging from the crying. It's going to take vodka to get over this again. Doubles and lots of them. And ice-cream. Thick, minty chocolate ice-cream with a hundred calories in every spoonful. My girlfriends will have to stroke my hair from my eyes and wipe my tears, trying their best to make things okay again. I'll have to play The Pixies so loud the walls shake.

It feels as though someone's sitting on my chest; every time i try and take a breath i'm working twice as hard. I'm not yet sure if the beating of my heart has slowed down, or doubled in speed. I was praying this time it would be different, but i should have known not to rely on that. You can see it in me now. You can see it in my eyes. I didn't shower this morning and i'm still in the same clothes as when you left. I've not moved really. The empties still litter the lounge. I've not thrown out the take away boxes. I don't want anything to change, because if it's all the same then there's a chance this didn't happen. There's a chance it's all a horrible dream that i'll wake up from. Last time they sat me down and told me i couldn't do this too myself again. I suppose i knew it as well, but there was a big factor that they just didn't understand. They didn't realise how it all changes when you look at me, touch me ... kiss me. It all changes. I made promised to them that i wouldn't let this happened to me again. I promised. And now where am i? I'm trying to think of a character that i feel like. Someone in a book or play that i think has felt like this but i've got no one. It's like when Jane realises Rochester is already married and wanders through the moors. She doesn't have a clue where she's going and she can hardly make sense of the infomation she's been given. Her heart is exploding in her chest and she knows that it's partly her fault, because her actions helped to lead to this point. There's no denying the majority of the blame falls at Rochester's feet, but she can't bring herself to hate him. The love is always there, which is why he calls in the wind to her.

So take a good look at my face. You'll see my smile looks out of place. If you look closer it's easy to trace the tracks of my tears.
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(no subject) [Dec. 22nd, 2009|01:10 pm]

inspireplease
[remixtherobot]
just a few nature photographs..


(  oh my oh my oh my )
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(no subject) [Dec. 22nd, 2009|10:22 pm]

inspireplease
[13mins]
here goes.
( 00088 )
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(no subject) [Dec. 22nd, 2009|02:59 am]

2amtomorning
[needcash4weed]
you leave and come back and leave and come back and leave and come back.
each time i welcome you with open arms.
each time you remind me of why i love you without knowing.
each time you pretend nothing happened.
maybe it's just me, but it's hard to pretend nothing happen.
it's hard to pretend that you don't leave and come back multiple times a year.
it's hard to pretend that i don't love you, that i haven't loved you for three years.
it's hard to welcome you back everytime because i know you're going to leave again.
when you leave i always have to pick my pieces up and put my walls up
the minute you come back, i'm yours. i was yours three years ago, i'm still yours now.
i don't know if you know this. i don't want to bring it up because i don't want to make you leave.
i'm use to you leaving on your own.
i'm trying so hard for this, i want to be friends. if friendship is the only thing i am able
to get, i want it.
i love you and it scares me that no matter what i'm doing, no matter who i'm with.

i would drop everything for you.
this isn't going anywhere. i'm not going anywhere. i'll always be here
and you always seem to find me.

you're a priority and i'm an option.
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(no subject) [Dec. 22nd, 2009|02:04 am]

2amtomorning
[eyemoth]
I'm on my third vodka soaked beverage and there isn't a dog laying on my mangled toes tonight for the first time in six months and I don't know where to kick. See, I leave the country in a couple weeks. I was really excited about living there then I met this boy... Isn't that always the story? "I wanted to live my life...then I met him." Is what it boils down to. He's really great though. The first time he kissed me we were sitting in his car. We'd been casually hanging out for a couple weeks. He said, "Want a line?" and I said, "Um man of my dreams?" Then there was this awkward thing where he said something to the effects of, "A kiss should be my payment." Only I thought he said "My favorite band is Pavement." So when he charged my mouth I jumped back and looked confused but I was high so I didn't really care. Yeah. That's how it all started. I assume that if we ever have children, which will only happen by mistake, that I'll have to edit that story out. Or probably edit out the story about how he asked me to be his girlfriend. I just remember sitting in some weird apartment in November. They already had their christmas tree up and there was underwear all over the kitchen floor. Everyone had left for some reason and he said, "Hey can I ask you a hypothetical question?" and I said, "After I finish my drink." "What would you do if I were to ask you to be my girlfriend, hypothetically." So I say some crass remark about feeling like I was 12 again then drunkenly said sure. I'm such an awkward human being. I mean I really thought he was gay for a while, but it's okay, he probably thought I was an addict. Oh, wait. Nevermind. So here I am now. Drunk in my room. Wondering if I am really capable of falling in love again. It doesn't seem plausible. But he's in love with me. He doesn't even have to say it. I can tell. I don't know why though. I'm a fucked up individual. But he does. And maybe I think I care about him a lot anyway. This started out being about my puppy. She was killed today. It was the first time I think I've ever cried when anything or anyone in my life died. I mean, it's just a damned dog, but I rescued her. She slept with me every night. And like I said the only thing in my bed right now with me is gallon of vodka. I just... don't get it.
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Leaving Fear Behind [Dec. 21st, 2009|11:02 pm]

2amtomorning
[firebomber]
http://freetibet2008.tv/2008/09/10/leaving-fear-behind-complete-film/

Got 25 minutes? Watch this.

The filmmaker, Dhondup Wangchen, and his helper, Golog Jigme, are currently on trial in the People's Republic of China for making this film.

Their charges? "Subversion" and "inciting separatism." Check it out for yourself.

"I feel exhausted. It's as though I were walking alone, with no destination, endlessly."
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(no subject) [Dec. 21st, 2009|10:22 pm]

2amtomorning
[tshirt]
i'm very good at reading people but you always do the opposite of what i think you'll do. which means you're either really special or really really stupid. i'm gonna go with options a and b.

when we hold hands, my fingers are on fire.
ineedit
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Haven't posted since '07... [Dec. 21st, 2009|07:34 pm]

thelifelist
[post_ku_mind]
So it's been a while since I've posted, but I wanted to update a bit, and add / change a few things...

1)       Live in Chicago for at least a year.

2)       Live in Virginia Beach for at least a year.

a)       Work in an art gallery or cafe while living there

b)       Possibly attend EVMS for grad school after getting state-citizenship.

3)       Live in Utah (not sure how long).

4)       Work as a freelance photographer.

5)       Have a gallery showing.

6)       Find “the one.”  (Thought I had this one, but not yet...)

7)       Get married.

8)       Make my own wedding dress.

9)       Own my own house

a)       Have a craft room in that house for painting, sewing, etc.

i)         Decorate this room with my VanGogh theme (my old bedroom).

b)       Have a darkroom in that house.

10)   Find a job that uses my degree, and I actually like, with a decent schedule.

 

( And on it goes.... ) 
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(no subject) [Dec. 21st, 2009|01:56 pm]

inspireplease
[gookalockgeek]
sunset polaroids

in an effort to bring something fresh to this community, i thought i'd share some of my own photos and artwork from the last year. there are polaroids, lomography, digital and film, collages, vintage family photos, paintings, journal entries and everything in-between. hope you enjoy!!

( loads and loads )
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Bulletproof [Dec. 22nd, 2009|01:50 am]

2amtomorning
[28octobers]

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing, Just praying to a God that I don't believe in.
Cause I've got time while he's got freedom, Cause when a heart breaks no, it don't breakeven.

His best days will be some of my worst. He finally met a girl that's going to place him first.
While I'm wide awake he's no trouble sleeping. Cause when a heart breaks no, it don't breakeven. No.

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you.
And what am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok. I'm falling to pieces.
Yeah, I'm falling to pieces.

Oh you got her heart & my heart, & none of the pain. You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains. Cause you left me with no love, & no love to my name.

I need you to need me.

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(no subject) [Dec. 21st, 2009|12:46 pm]

2amtomorning
[iluvzombies]
i honestly do not think i ever learned how to enjoy my life.
what do you do?
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12/21/09 Homepage Spotlight [Dec. 21st, 2009|09:38 am]

lj_spotlight
[ljspotlight]
[Tags|, , ]

[info]i_hope_that
For many of us, the holidays can be kind of rough. If you're searching for a network of understanding friends, this ultra-nurturing community encourages you to express your heartfelt wishes and offer other members encouragement and acceptance. Not for the terminally snarky or emotionally-challenged, this is a good-spirited place to lend comfort and support.
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12/21/09 Homepage Spotlight [Dec. 21st, 2009|09:37 am]

lj_spotlight
[ljspotlight]
[Tags|, , ]

[info]diygifts
Feeling crafty? If you've got a few last folks on your holiday gift list, this is a great place to seed your creativity and generosity. You'll also discover wonderful DIY tips to decorate your home and entertain guests. Offering a no-frills-no-skills attitude that welcomes the cash-challenged and arts-phobic, you're sure to get ideas and make friends in the process.
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12/21/09 Homepage Spotlight [Dec. 21st, 2009|09:36 am]

lj_spotlight
[ljspotlight]
[Tags|]

[info]cooking_club
A fun and friendly community dedicated to those who love to cook, whether you're a meat-and-potatoes type, an aspiring gourmand, and/or a vegan. In search of a brilliant dish to use up those weekly leftovers? Post your ingredients and you'll be whipping up a feast by dinner. You can also share favorite recipes. For Type A chefs, you can spice up your culinary repertoire with exciting cooking challenges.
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(no subject) [Dec. 20th, 2009|11:21 pm]

2amtomorning
[lovinglimbs]
What is something that you've created, that you're proud of?

Or something that you've done.?

Or I guess something you've done that you're proud of, that sparked a turning point in your life?

I've always dreamed of being a photographer - for the longest time. But recently I've started to sway, and I think I"m swaying back to Photography. But.

The only photo I've even remotely proud of, and I admit, it is still very very amateur.

( The Picture is Kind of big )
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Artists [Dec. 21st, 2009|03:20 pm]

inspireplease
[realskin]
Hello, are some of my favourite artists.


Photobucket
Sorry! Here is the cut!( Read more... )
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