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[Dec. 23rd, 2009|03:52 pm] |
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dude, my plan was to nap but im actually so happy/excited about him that i cannot fall asleep. is this real life? |
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[Dec. 23rd, 2009|02:24 pm] |
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JUAN PABLO CAME TO SCHOOL TODAY AND SURPRISED ME. last day before vacation and we could wear street clothes.. it was just a dance party allll day. omg so cute so cute. curls all over the place and these beaaauutiful eyes. oh lordie. he just automatically was so caring and silly and <3. head kisses, shoulder kisses. pinky kisses. :D we are going out tonight i hope hope hope!! (hookah what?) baila baila. :D eeep. sorry. SO HAPPY. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|11:08 am] |
I am slowly recovering from a very nasty GI bug. I guess I caught it from a contaminated blanket or something, since everyone else in the house had had it last week. I got sick really early on Tuesday, like 4:30 in the morning. Couldn't keep any food or even liquid down for all of yesterday, and slept on and off for most of the day.
I experimented with a cracker earlier, it made me kind of nauseous. Am now cautiously eating slices of an apple. My stomach gurgled a bit, but I think it approves. As long as I eat it slow I think I'll be able to get it all down. and keep it down, ha. |
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[Dec. 22nd, 2009|10:42 pm] |
it isnt christmas, its just not. im sorry. actually no im not sorry because its not my fault that i dont feel like its christmas time. (i am ALWAYS saying im sorry. thats sick too.) im not particularly connected to the man heysuess cristo so i guess i dont really have anything to complain about. but the other christmas, the one that is commercial, aesthetic, tangible... its not here. a tree without lights. 90 degrees. no cookies. (except the ones i baked on my own in the kitchen every night.) (i have been cooking like a madwoman for days now every night in the kitchen alone, i love it.) there is nothing exciting and different happening. no "december" feeling. no 25 day countdown. im just so exhausted.
fuck fuck. im a boring emotional baby girl.
someday? maybe someday ill get it together.
tell me what to do with my future. what do you think?
im seriously. anonymously tell me what i should do now, in a year, in the long run?
help me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|02:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Belle- Beauty and the Beast | ] |
Oh, it is good to be back. It has been too long. Yes, it's that time again. The spring musical. Few things could make me happier than this.Tonight marks rehearsal number one. Number one in a long list of rehearsals. Hours, and hours and hours of them. I love it. I couldn't be more excited for it. Late, late nights, early Saturday mornings, the works! I can't wait until we really get into it. Little groups, just working on their lines, songs, dances, all alone. Lunches in the practice rooms, perfecting lines and lyrics. Not getting to bed until until 3 in the morning, because rehearsals ran late and you were up doing your homework. Finding those nooks and crannies to nap in.
I ended up leaving, and now its the next day. I lost of flow of thoughts. Ah well. Maybe later. |
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[Dec. 22nd, 2009|12:08 am] |
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i need a self revolution and it needs to start tomorrow morning when i wake up. i dont feel the way i want to feel. i might never be happy with my entirety but i need to realize that doesn't mean i should ensure that my entirety sucks. makes sense ya? bitches and hoes. bitches and hoes. who even am iiiii. what is this crisis mentality i am in right now? |
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[Dec. 21st, 2009|11:01 pm] |
Albert Einstein once said : “If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.”
that just about scares the shit out of me. think about how retarded we are. injecting random stuff into animals to make them get mutantly bigger so we can eat them? (i just think of mondo burger from 'good burger'... buh.) putting nasty chemicals on our fruit and vegetables. spraying hair spray all over ourselves. killing the animals that are here for a reason.. and if they're not, then time will make them disappear. its just weird. we are in such a hurry to speed up every process. really though, EVERY PROCESS. LET IT BE. BAH. we are so rampant and there really cannot be a "going back", im pretty sure. i can only take so much of this shit seriously. college is going to steal alllll the money that i dont have just like it steals all the money that NO ONE has, and i just think about the world and all this dumb stuff and it makes me so pissed and stubborn. i just want to build a little cabin in a big field and grow my own little garden with a stream to wash my face in at the end of the day. im the biggest hypocrite i know but im fckn 18 and i dont know how to deal with any of this. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!!!???!!?!
fuck d00d 2012 is comin- 3 years from today. what do you think?
dun DUN DUNNNNNN! |
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[Dec. 21st, 2009|10:39 pm] |
i made that for juan pablo for christmas because i dont know what else to do. he called me last night and said he has something that i am going to love and i will get it wednesday.... but he told me that he is coming on saturday? soooo, idk whats going on. :D yay. anyway, the thing i made looks better in person and whatnot and its just a quote from 'v for vendetta' because we both love that movie and talk about it a lot and blah blah.
"By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe." |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|08:07 pm] |
Hmmm. Trying to decide if I want an LG touch or this enV3 thing. I'm kinda leaning towards the touch, which I think my sister has. I'll have to talk to her about it. Customer reviews say it has really awful battery life, but that's probably with all the applications people can get with it. I don't need it for anything really other than texting, and I doubt I'll load music onto it. I just like the way it looks. aheh.
but. yes. I live. to speak another day. |
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[Dec. 20th, 2009|04:06 am] |
i want to be a better human being. but as kelsey ann gillett. not as i-wish-i-was-more-like-____. i just bit all my nails. i want to paint shit and put up more maps and old national geographic photos. memorize more quotes. i dont know what else. its 4 am and im not really tired at all. i just slept all afternoon and woke up at 11 something. i just keep looking at pictures of outerspace and wishing fotos like the one above were real things that happened. and i am having a real talk with gustavo?
translated for you guys:
gustavo: are you catholic?
kelsey: mm, im not anything.
gustavo: someone said, a writer, i dont remember his name, but said that to investigate something too much is what brings doubt.
kelsey says: my mom is catholic, my dad is nothing at all, i used to go to church as a baby girl but now... i dont know.
gustavo: why dont you know? you cant decide something or you just think that life here and we live it and thats it?
kelsey: i think its a little bit of everything. im a girl full of thoughts.
gustavo: im the same way. but people mostly dont like to talk about these things. they think im crazy... :) and your philosophy...?
kelsey: i think about the world, space and infinity, the deepest part of the ocean, things like that... things that im never going to see. no one is going to see. i think about how everything is important, but nothing is important at the same time.
gustavo: exactly.
kelsey says: so its not that i dont believe in anything, its more like i believe in everything. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2009|11:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sexy Bitch- David Guetta ft Akon | ] |
I do't enjoy or appreciate the comments some people make to me about the roles I obtain. I don't care about it, I am happy with what I get and what I have, but some things are unnecessary, but oh well, I am going to work harder to show that I can do it. If the "casting directors" didn't think I could do it, they wouldn't give me the part, right? Right. So I just have to prove that I can. I am very excited. I have missed drama. Monday is our first rehearsal. I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait! And my brother got the part he wanted too! We were so excited! And I kept telling him about how proud of him I am, and yadda yadda yadda. We are so goofy. But, I am excited for Monday, I have missed drama a lot, and I have missed the late rehearsals, and the endless dancing, and the memorizing, and the antcipations and the group. AHHH. I am excited. It's weird, to think about how, a year, ago this time, my life was way different. Okay. I am going to watch The Sound of Music with Syd now. |
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[Dec. 18th, 2009|04:22 pm] |
new dress. today i will make even more christmas cookies realll ghetto style over here. later tonight i have a dinner party with my class and that will be fun. after that, party party party in the hotel monte carlo. :D very pumped. i will wear my high chunky black heels and my feet will die. yay. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|06:40 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | impatient | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Musicbox- Regina Spektor | ] |
My hips are sore, and my blankets are strewn about, and I know my sleep was restless. I don't rest when I sleep, I flail about, and it won't matter how much sleep I got, I will still be tired before long. I feel okay for roughly the first hour, and then by the time that's passed, my eyes are tired, and there's no guarentee I'll stay awake, except the passing bells prove that I don't need sleep. I don't know when I last slept over night, and woke up, with all my bed things in their regular place, nice and rested. I wake up confused, and the other night, after hours of napping, I woke up, picked up a pillow off the floor, carried it halfway down the stairs and left it. Occassionally, I type away message to find in the morning, and they always please me. I don't know. My dreams always confuse me. I remember mine, and I don't understand. They make about as much sense as I do normally. I think my teachers think I am weird. I am not that weird. Well, I am, but when I get hyper, I act worse. I don't know. I don't know. I never say anything other that 'I don't know'. And usually, I'm not even sure what I am talking about. I don't know why I am saying I don't know, most of the time. Blarg. I am going to lay down for the next 20 minutes, or so. I actually did my homework before this morning, it feels weird. I am impatient. Impatient. Impatient. |
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[Dec. 16th, 2009|11:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
I am in the mood to drink loads of ginger ale, and sleep in late. I'd like to play Legend of Zelda all day long while my sister watches me, so I am not alone, but i can still play. I'd like loads and loads of pictures of lions and old ships. I might have to look them up. They are what inspire me. I don't feel like doing homework, and I do feel like sleeping. But I need another drink of ginger ale. No school tomorrow would be fabuolous.
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[Dec. 16th, 2009|10:48 pm] |
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this is not even funny. its just cruel. </3 |
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[Dec. 16th, 2009|11:58 am] |
I need some serious help
I don't understand the lengths of things anymore, i only see things in black and white, and things that used to affect me don't at all anymore. I used to clean my place up until it was spotless when i was just going to have one person over, now i can't even wrap my mind around cleaning my house. I don't even have the energy to do it anymore. Fuck, this year has been so shitty and hard. Financially, mentally, emotionally, physically... January first i'm doing a toast to the new, beautiful decade we have ahead of us, the decade all of my friends will grow up and get married, have kids, find homes, move away, while i wittle away at this medical school thing for probably the next 6/8 years, ah well, someday i'll have money, and someday i'll be happy. and that's a good thing. |
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[Dec. 16th, 2009|06:18 am] |
above: all the main reasons i wish i lived in quito. |
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